Yvi

God, you guys...I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

One day, I'll want to teach in Thailand. The next day, I'll want to own a bookshop in Barcelona. The day after that, I'll be wondering if I should actually try my hand at submitting some writing to an actual publication, or maybe writing that thesis on drag kings my anthro adviser vetoed senior year.

I think my head is going to explode. I'm ready to move on, but I don't know where.

I am surrounded by Vagina Monologues paraphernalia and just read "Bent." It's been a long time since I came across a play that really slapped me across the face.

Was going to post fic on Friday, then remembered I'd probably be the only one posting anything. Then I decided to scrap half the fic and rewrite it. I don't know why it's giving me so much trouble. I should be editing my cover letter and sending out my resume instead, but every time I reach a liminal point in my life I get all jittery. Safer and easier to just keep on editing porn.

I've gotten to the point where, rather than lie down at a logical hour and hope to get tired eventually, I'll just sit up and and try to be productive until I actually am tired.

As a result, tonight I have watched a documentary on supernovae, done some sketching (I really want to make a habit of drawing, since I'm never going to improve otherwise--be warned, sucktastic scans of these efforts are a possibility), tapped out a couple paragraphs that may or may not become fic, tried on my swimsuit (and pulled a Clueless by taking a few pictures to see how pasty and awkward I am in it), and read.

I did have a great nap this evening after work, but only for a few hours. My goal for the near future is to train myself to sleep when the big shiny thing is not in the sky.

However, in happier news, I'm leaving for Puerto Rico (omg) Thursday morning and will be back next Monday. Then Friday of that week, I'm driving to Ohio, meeting up with my old AmeriCorps team, and going to New Orleans for a week to do Katrina relief. I am Ridiculously Excited. I got a new memory card today, since I don't know how often I'll be able to upload pictures.

So on the off chance anyone wonders, I'm not going to be around too much for the rest of the month because I will be busy basking in awesomeness. There will, however, be picspam.

I...don't think I'm cut out for this.

The board meeting went well, but how much time can I spend talking about branding and interfacing and whether a given event should be classified as black-tie?

This is what happens when you work for a not-very-nonprofitty nonprofit. I'm surrounded by hors d'oeuvres and posh hotels and CEOs in thousand-dollar suits who get their ten-year-olds BlackBerries without batting an eye.

Next month, I get to go to Puerto Rico for a few days because we're taking some of our bigger fish there for a retreat. I get to bring La Actriz. For free. It's going to be the most amazing Valentine's weekend ever. And I'm lucky for getting to experience that, and I'm learning a lot, about event planning and how to be nice with corporate bigwigs in order to get what you want and how to stay afloat in the DC business world, but I just feel like a sell-out.

To the ten-year-olds at my last job, blackberries were just things you picked off bushes and they were ecstatic if you gave them a few quarters for an arcade. I've been on both extremes of the nonprofit spectrum at this point, and I'm definitely finding out which I prefer. I plan to stay with my current job till May/June so I'll have it on my resume that I've been there over a year, and then...we'll see.

My old AmeriCorps team is doing Katrina relief for a week at the end of February and I'm taking some vacation time so I can go along. I'm really excited about that. And I don't have to wear a blazer.

Hi, new friends! I'm sorry the first entry of mine you see is probably going to shatter any respect you might have for me. Welcome!

No sleep again last night, so I headed to today's breakfast event riding high on a touch of the plague and a Diet Coke. Whoo. Choked down two cups of coffee, each with about five packets of Equal, and OH GOD THE PAIN. I felt it staining my teeth and stunting my growth and souring my stomach and, and, and... Ew. I seriously cannot remember the last time I was desperate enough to try coffee.

So, yeah, today was pretty much a "Holy crap, I look like crap" kind of Monday. Got a run in my stockings like like a flesh-colored comet shooting down my Achilles tendon into my fetching kitten heel. Woe! However, I was wearing this stretchy Escher-ish houndstooth trumpet skirt that looks like something Gwen Stefani vomited up backstage. Seriously, it's amazing. Seriously, I'm not usually this superficial, either.

I was supposed to go salsa with Xanthe tonight, but she also has the plague, and I ended up declining an invitation to eat with my family before the little Gorgon (freshly returned from a Commedia dell'Arte study in Italy) goes back to school. Cuddy would never stand for this sort of tomfoolery. Cuddy would probably never wear Gwen Stefani vomit, either.

And since I still can't sleep, I think I might write porn. Because everyone knows that's always a cure-all.

I'm learning how to salsa. It is amazing. Staying out till three on a Monday? Not so much. Considering my dance training has consisted of modern and improvisational styles--where you, like, throw yourself across the room to the sound of iced tea being stirred and pretend to be a tree--and crash courses in tapping for a couple plays, this is definitely something new. And, pleasantly, not nearly as awkward as I feared. Having Xanthe around to hide behind helps enormously.

Tonight I went to a hookah bar with Xanthe, La Actriz, and (dun-dun-duuun) La Actriz's ex from a few years ago who happens to be visiting from Boston and incredibly sweet. I've been getting out more lately, which is nice. If left to my own devices for too long, I can get broody and moody and then I want to kick myself for not being as productive as I could be and it's one big wrist-ripping bonanza. *hums "With a Little Help From My Friends" and vaguely contemplates writing another Across the Universe fic*

Also, we kind of fell into a sex shop, found the woefully tiny gay porn section, and I discovered I'm the kind of person who will, in fact, turn over a porn DVD and expect to see a plot summary. Sometimes, I fail at common sense.

My final get_house_laid fic is about two-thirds done now, after a long period of me forgetting about it entirely. Yes, I know the deadline was a few months ago. What?

My magnificently magnanimous girlfriend is back on the same continent as me, at long last. We got sandwiches this afternoon, and I now have a very cool medallion hanging on my wall to protect me from the Evil Eye. Also a scarf and some baklava.

I have to leave for New Year's festivities, but I wanted to thank the Academy that is my f-list for being awesome (even those of you I suspect filter me out on your own f-lists). When I wandered into the House fandom, I was blown away by how many talented, prolific writers there were and now that I've actually gotten to know some of you, I realize you're actually not all that superhuman after all!

*watches tumbleweeds roll by*

Um. I do prefer my friends human as opposed to super. For what it's worth.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Aaaaghhh, no one commented on either of my Yuletide fics today! I fail, I fail, I fail!

Seriously, feedback has exceeded my expectations and I'm ecstatic that both fics have gone over well, but at the same time I wouldn't mind a little more feedback either. No writer can say no to that. But since I'm clearly not worthy of reviews anymore, I suppose I'll have to commit seppuku with a pencil and maybe figure out how to post a Yuletide flounce fic. Alack!

And can I just say I am honored to have the top two most prolific Yuletide reviewers, taskir and queenzulu, as my friends? Hats off to you, chickens.

I spent most of the evening and night with Xanthe, which always seems to mean shenanigans and food, and am pretty much a zombie right now. However, our sublimely statuesque Serbian waiter with dimples of doom was flirting with me, which was pretty flattering. I've sort of been in this funk where I need reassurance that I'm a worthwhile human being and other trivialities. La Actriz comes home in a couple days and I am going batty waiting to see her. And this mystery present from the Grand Bazaar. But mostly her. Ahem.

Tomorrow, Xanthe and I have plans to hit up a gay club and, if that doesn't satisfy, watch Brokeback Mountain with a bottle of tequila. You know you want to be us. I'm going to try and get a recs post done tomorrow as well. For now, bed.

ETA: Ha! Just saw someone else's Yuletide recs page and one of my fics, as well as the one my Santa wrote for me, are on there. Out of ten recs. What are the odds? I suppose I can put the pencil down for now.

I made a big dent in my shopping today, so I'm almost done. I had the idea to get gift cards for my housemates, so I picked up three (Starbucks, Panera, and Smoothie King) and figured I'd leave them on the counter with a card before I left for my mother's house.

And of course, as I'm wandering into Panera to buy the last one, I run into two of my housemates. My stealth skills, let me show you them.

However, tonight we're going out for one of said housemates' birthdays, which should be fun cubed.

I am so lame. Everyone has a party tonight and all I feel like doing is staying home to write and maybe putter around with stencils and things.

Got a call from Fleur, who trotted out the tried-and-true "people are asking about you!" hook, which made me reconsider staying in. Thanks to Mapquest, I found out this particular party is half an hour away and will require driving through the mangled streets of DC in the dead of the night. And that bears just a little more concentration than I feel like exerting, plus the last three times I drove to a new destination in the city I managed to get horribly lost.

They just don't understand that Yuletide ends soon (started my fic today; high five!) and my pajamas are very comfortable. Eh. I was sociable last night (Golden Compass post to come) and I'll make sure to be around for New Year's festivities.