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posted by [personal profile] recrudescence at 05:01am on 02/04/2010 under
Barn

She hit a boy
with a shovel
in a barn. She

saw nothing
but the math
of it. Ascent,
arc, intersect.

And the shapes:
triangle on oval
in a sun-drowned
pentagon.

A thing in motion
tends to stay. She
hit a boy. She
grew up to list

numbers in files
in pale rooms
full of dustless
air. She wears

nice clothes.
She wears
nice clothes.

-- Rachel Contreni Flynn
There are 6 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] meiou-set.livejournal.com at 08:32pm on 01/04/2010
Oooh <333

I love the repetition at the end and the description of what she saw. This was wonderful.
 
posted by [identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com at 08:37pm on 01/04/2010
I like how it's almost obsessive-compulsive, you know? Like the speaker just had to repeat the last line so the first and last stanzas would be symmetrical. Very much in keeping with the mathematical theme.
ext_25882: (Midnight Sun Over Greenland)
posted by [identity profile] nightdog-barks.livejournal.com at 09:55pm on 01/04/2010
YIKES.

I like this a lot ...
 
posted by [identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com at 03:15pm on 02/04/2010
I know. It's so simple, but it almost reads like a hit from a shovel.
 
posted by [identity profile] daasgrrl.livejournal.com at 11:37pm on 01/04/2010
Really loved this - so compact, yet disturbing.
 
posted by [identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com at 03:16pm on 02/04/2010
That's what I enjoy about her stuff--she can do so much with so few words, and do it without being at all trite.

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