recrudescence: (heyjudeheyjudeheyjude)
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Yesterday was my half-birthday, this week is my father's birthday, and I really need to avoid reading Aftershocks when I'm trying to write.

I need to avoid reading anything when I'm trying to write, because then I start hemming and hawing over every little thing and eventually just end up throwing in the towel for the day.

Trimmed the minionfic I thought was done, trimmed the Bigbang fic, started on an Across the Universe fic just for the hell of it. Every now and then, it's fun to dip my toes into a completely random fandom and chuck out a piece or two.

In sum, I need to staple a Post-It to my head reminding myself that I do not, in fact, fail at life for not having the exact same writing style as Author X. I am not a genius wordsmith, but when I STFU and just write, I do okay.

I think tomorrow I'm going to stencil a shirt. Also, I've been ridiculously tired for the past few weeks. Is this what seasonal depression feels like? Or...scurvy, or something? I've been taking my vitamins and trying to get a decent amount of sleep every night, but it feels like my body just wants to hibernate. I hope it isn't some variation on depression, since I adore fall and adore not having to shell out for heating this year. I'm overdue for a physical; maybe I'll look into scheduling one and bringing this up.
There are 4 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] phinnia.livejournal.com at 06:34am on 11/11/2007
Is this what seasonal depression feels like?
Yes. Largely. Pick up a light box (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_box) or some full spectrum bulbs (or both) and eat more pasta (carbs are nature's antidepressants. seriously.)
 
posted by [identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com at 06:38am on 11/11/2007
Honestly, I think having a light box around would just weird me out, or worse, encourage me to use it as a crutch. I grew up having a very mind-over-matter approach to illness drilled into me, so my default response to feeling under the weather is just to soldier on through. I do think I'm going to dump my curiosity on some unsuspecting doctor in the near future, just to find out more, though.
 
posted by [identity profile] shutterbug12.livejournal.com at 05:41am on 12/11/2007
Hun, you need to have some faith in your own writing abilities. I wish I had them. Sure, who wouldn't suffer from a little self-doubt after reading Aftershocks? (So sad it's over.) There are some authors that are so damn good I wonder why I even bother writing, but other writers and readers are so supportive I can't help myself.

One of the things I enjoy so much about reading fanfic is reading all the different styles. Don't be so hard on yourself. ;)
 
posted by [identity profile] recrudescence.livejournal.com at 11:59pm on 12/11/2007
There are some authors that are so damn good I wonder why I even bother writing, but other writers and readers are so supportive I can't help myself.

That's it exactly. I do have faith in myself--why bother trying if I didn't?--but sometimes I feel like I'm at a plateau and won't ever progress from where I am now. Which is silly. I just wish my default reaction to reading something good was "wow, that was really good!" as opposed to "damn it, why do I try?".

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