He's a chemist! All he needs to do is spike the coffeepot with an aphrodisiac and set up a camcorder. He's friends with Eames, which means he's got to be a little more devious than he appears. (Omfg, aaaand I think it's time for me to sleep because now I'm picturing the two of them as Kuzco and Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove. "This isn't Somnacin! This is extract. of. LLAMA!")

As great as it is that something like that exists, it shouldn't fall to the fans to make up for the director's/producer's/publicity team's failings. *shakes fists*